Having a random hookup so left but love u
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
