My hand turned me down
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
