Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
