i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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