He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm determined to sit on that face.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
