alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
