and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
