i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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