I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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