I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
