So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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