I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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