at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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