I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
