i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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