I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
