I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
