More tranny stories later!
North Korea, Best Korea!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
