You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
