i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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