is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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