I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
not ubering you a puppy
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
