Rock
Scissors
Fuck
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he puts the penis in happiness.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
