so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
