my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
