ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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