Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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