After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
