Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
