Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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