i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
