my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
