i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
