i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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