the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You have to summon your inner elephant
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
