the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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