Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
