dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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