So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
