i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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