Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I love you. Go after that dick
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
