Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
