BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
