I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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