whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
you inspire me to be a worse person
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
