You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
