You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
