he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
