his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
