some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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