he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
